One day, J.C. decided he wanted a puppy to add to the organized chaos we called home. With my fingers crossed, I told him I was only allowed to potty train one living thing at a time, and until he stopped wearing diapers, we would only have a household of two-legged creatures. From that very instant, he was an official “big boy” and I was on the hunt for a puppy.

The trek for this puppy was six hours in a snowstorm—on New Year’s Day—to Minnesota (who would have thought, just to go to our pound!) to obtain the newest member of our family. All this for our foster son who called my bluff. Outsmarted by a 3-year-old, again.

It was a given that this puppy we named Riley would go with the children when they went home. Their parents loved the dog, bringing treats for the dog whenever they came to visit their children. Then their landlord had a change of heart. Like the narrator on Peanuts, I heard it echo loud and clear, “No dogs allowed.”

J.C. is still at home, and I still have his promised potty puppy. This cute little canine that came to us the size of a 12-ounce soda can, has morphed into a 6-year- old overweight dog who is blind in one eye, has a tumor on one leg and is a constant reminder of the first time I fell head over heels in love with a child that I parented that I did not birth. That it is possible to unconditionally love outside of your gene pool, to be a fiercely protective mama bear to someone who calls someone else mama. Life lesson brought by a 3-year-old boy and a dog.

So I leave you with this question. What life lessons have you learned in an unconventional way? Did an impromptu visit to a shopping mall bring about a lesson you learned? Did you finally see something for the first time through the eyes of a toddler that was there all along, but your eyes were closed to it?

Share with us. Let us learn through you!

Best to all this day,
Paulette

~ Paulette Drankiewicz, foster parent liaison, Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin

Sitting at a meeting one hot August night, I found myself accosted by a 2-year-old boy with an angelic face who promptly jumped into my lap, buried his sweaty little head in my chest and sat there for the entire two-hour meeting. When the meeting ended, I looked at his presumed parents and playfully asked, “Can I have him?”

Unbeknownst to me, my life was about to look vastly different in the months ahead. You see, this beauty of a boy was being fostered by his aunt and uncle – “kinship care” in foster speak – and that very afternoon, they had called the social worker and given their 30-day notice. They were unable to continue providing care for this little guy and his 3-year-old sister.

After discussing this with my husband and birth children, we decided as a family to enter the world of fostering. Our lives have never been the same.

So I ask each of you the question I opened with. Why did you choose fostering? More importantly, for those of you who have yet to embark on the fostering road, why have you NOT chosen to foster?

With your involvement, I look forward to continuing to blog about all things related to fostering. My goal is to start a conversation not just for foster parents, but for all who want to make a difference in the life of a foster child. When you get involved, your life will never be the same.

I encourage you to visit cssw.org or call 414-KID-HERO (414-543-4376) for more information about foster care.

~ Paulette Drankiewicz, foster parent liaison, Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin

November is National Adoption Awareness Month, an effort to raise awareness of the 123,000 children in foster care nationwide – 115 in Wisconsin – waiting to find permanent and loving families. More than 350 events are held throughout the country to finalize the adoptions of children in foster care, and to celebrate all families who adopt.

In the last 11 years, more than 30,000 children have been adopted from foster care on National Adoption Day. Our efforts will continue to find loving, stable homes for children in need of a family through foster care and adoption.

Are you interested in adoption or becoming a foster parent? Please visit Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin for more information on how you can help make a difference in a child’s life.

~ Andrea Rivera de Vega, recruitment specialist, Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin

The Ties Program has been supporting children’s racial/ethnic development for nearly 20 years and leads specialized travel to 16 countries. Each tour allows families to learn about the culture and history of the country, as well as participate in experiences specific to their child’s history (for example, visiting the orphanage from which the child was adopted or connecting with nannies/foster parents who provided care before adoption).

Participating families are supported through the experience with focused “Parent Talk” times (led by an adoption professional) and children’s “Connect and Chat” (often led by an adult who was adopted during childhood). These meetings provide emotional support and reassurance for all family members during an emotionally charged experience.

Dr. Wilson plays Duck, Duck, Goose.

I witnessed the incredible impact these trips have on children (adopted or not) when I first traveled to Cambodia with The Ties Program in December 2010. During this two-week trip, I led “Parent Talk” times and offered support during individual meetings with birth families.

Throughout the trip, informal play (like Duck, Duck, Goose, shown in the photo with Dr. Wilson standing) provided children with invaluable opportunities to know the people with whom they shared their heritage were warm, wonderful people.

I will return to Cambodia in December to support a new group of families. As before, I’m looking forward to this trip – not only for the honor I will have supporting families during such a special time, but also for the growth I continue to experience in understanding the complexity that some of us encounter to truly find “home” and “identity” as Americans.

~ Samantha L. Wilson, PhD, psychologist, Child Development Center, Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin

In the past year, the foster care and adoption recruitment team has canvassed Milwaukee County in search of loving, qualified families that might consider being a foster or adoptive parent. In 2010, Children’s Service Society recruited a net gain of 170 foster homes. This number far outpaces any other recruitment year. Ever.

Some would ask, why are you doing this? It is because we are committed to helping children who are in need of a temporary place to stay. Most people don’t realize that there still remains a great need for foster parents in the community. Right now, in Milwaukee County, there are more than 2,200 kids in foster care. Our goal is to ensure all children have a safe place to call home while their biological family heals.

In 2011, our goal will remain the same, to continue to recruit foster homes. Look for our messages in your neighborhood. And if you have ever considered becoming a foster parent, call us. You could make a difference in the life of a child and a family.

~Laura Goba, Quality and Development Program Manager, Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin. 

 

If you would like to read more about foster care, visit “It takes a village.”

Kobi Maley

Sometimes you do things for yourself.

Sometimes you do thing for others.

And sometimes, when the stars align just right, you do something for yourself that winds up helping others in a way you’d never imagine.

That’s just what happened to me and my husband, Mark, in the summer of 2007. After talking off and on for years about becoming foster parents, we finally decided to attend an orientation meeting held by Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin.

Our initial interest in foster care came from our strong love of children. Our daughter was in her 20s and had left home years ago. We were empty-nesters and believed that bringing a young one into our home would brighten up our lives.

It did that – and so much more.

After that orientation, we signed up to become foster parents, went through the background checks and training. By early 2008, we had our first foster children – a 1-year-old girl and her 2-year-old brother. After about five months, they were adopted by a wonderful family.

After they left our home, we become foster parents for a 6-month-old baby named Kobi.

Little did we know at the time that our lives would change forever.

We watched him as he learned to crawl, then walk and say his first words.

We’ll never forget the joy of his first Easter with us. The excitement on his face when he figured out what egg hunt was all about.

We’ve had a lot of great times with Kobi, but the moment I’ll remember most was when our daughter, Erica, cuddled with Kobi and told him she would always be there for him … no matter what.

At night after he is tucked in, we always go back in after he has fallen asleep to make sure he is safe and warm. It is such a wonderful feeling standing there looking at this little boy who is ours.

After being with us for about a year, it was clear that Kobi was not going back to his mom. We were given the opportunity to adopt Kobi – and we jumped at the chance. On Nov. 24, 2009, he became our son.

The Maley family at Kobi's Nov. 24, 2009, adoption. From left: Erica, Debbie, Kobi and Mark Maley, along with Judge Christopher Foley.

The caseworkers from Children’s Service Society made the whole process so easy for us. Even though Kobi’s case is closed now, they still take a great interest in how he’s doing. We e-mail them and send pictures so they can watch him grow up with us.

Even though Mark and I are in our 50s, we wouldn’t change this experience for anything.

The decision to become a foster parent, and ultimately an adoptive parent, is one that changed our lives. It also changed Kobi’s. Now he will grow up in a loving home.

So I challenge all of you, just think about foster care or adopting. The feeling you have inside will always be one of the best feelings you will ever experience and by taking in a foster child, you are giving them what they need … a home!

-Debbie Maley, adoptive parent and blogger. You can read more about adoption and parenthood from Debbie on her blog, “Second Time Around,” on MilwaukeeMoms.com.

Learn more about Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin at cssw.org.

This isn’t the first time I’ll be working with kids. I used to visit with some children in Illinois. They were adorable, and they drew pictures for me and made bracelets and hats for me to wear. I told them stories of my life, and they shared stories about their lives. Helping children feel comfortable and safe is a big part of my job. Sometimes I can tell they need extra affection and sometimes I can tell that they just need me to listen. I’m there to do both.

Being a therapy dog carries a lot of responsibility. Research shows that visiting with kindhearted animals like me can help children feel less lonely or depressed. And, children tend to be more active and open after interacting with animals. Studies show that a therapy dog can provide a sense of comfort, confidence, and companionship in a clinical setting. Do you know what my friends think are the best things about me?  It’s not my curly tail or my floppy ears. They say I have kind eyes, a big heart and I’m a great listener. That’s why I’m a great therapy dog.

I am really excited to work with kids in Racine. I understand what it’s like to not always be happy. My current owner, Val, is a great mom, but I didn’t have a very happy life before she rescued me. But now, I get to come to work with Val and help kids feel good about themselves — and that’s the best job a dog could have.

P.s. I know there are other therapy dogs out there like me who help children. If you have stories to share, I would love to hear them!

Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin supports these amazing foster/adoptive parents and children. We’re proud that in 2008, we helped finalize more than 250 adoptions for our local children in need of a permanent home. A foster parent provides a temporary family and home for a child until he or she can be reunited safely with his or her biological family or placed in a permanent living situation. Children in need of foster and adoptive homes come from diverse backgrounds and have a wide range of needs. We are looking for diverse and nurturing foster and adoptive parents to meet those needs.

We realize that being a foster or adoptive parent isn’t for everyone. If you can’t commit to becoming a foster parent, you still can help the children of Milwaukee County.

Talk to your neighbors. Many people don’t understand the need for foster homes. Are there places you visit regularly where you can post information about the need for foster parents? We always need clothing, diapers, toiletries, suitcases and school supplies. Can you help us by hosting a collection drive? Or maybe you know someone who is a foster parent. Can you help them by providing back-up care, transportation or even making them dinner?

There are so many ways you can help the children of Milwaukee County. We are all responsible for the welfare of foster children living in our community. It truly does take a village. Please ask yourself what you can do to help.

To learn more about becoming a foster or an adoptive parent for a child in foster care, contact Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin at (414) 264-KIDS.

p.s. Check back here in the next few days for some National Adoption Day celebration highlights.

Our foster families and children need support to help send them off to school with a great start, and you can help. We are holding a school supply drive from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. This Friday, Aug. 21 in our parking lot at Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin. Our kids, who range in age from toddlers to teenagers, need supplies that include: backpacks, pens, pencils, notebooks, folders, paper, hand sanitizer and Kleenex. If you don’t have time to shop yourself but want to help, money donations also will be accepted and will be used to purchase these much needed supplies.

If you can’t make it this Friday, donations will continue to be accepted 8:30 a.m. To 5 p.m. Monday, Aug. 24 through Thursday, Aug. 27 at Children’s Service Society.

We are located at 620 South 76th Street, across from State Fair Park and right off of I-94.

And, we always need clothing, diapers, toiletries and suitcases. So, as you shop the sales and are getting your own children ready to head back to school, please consider helping our children in foster care as well. Thanks so much. See you Friday!

I work directly with treatment foster families in the Milwaukee area through Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin, and I know that foster children have an extraordinary capacity to overcome many challenges, but only if they have the support of a caring adult in their lives. Loving foster parents add the stability and structure children need to grow to become successful adults.

If nothing were to change by 2020, nearly 14 million confirmed cases of child abuse and neglect will be reported and 22,500 children will die of abuse or neglect – most before age 5. National Foster Care Month is an opportunity to inform policymakers, business leaders and others in Wisconsin about the urgent need for many more people to become foster parents. Without permanent, nurturing relationships with adults, foster youth are far more likely than their peers to endure homelessness, poverty, poor health, unemployment, incarceration and other adversities after they leave the foster care system.

No matter how much time you have to give, you have the power to do something positive that will change a lifetime for a young person in foster care. If you are interested in becoming a treatment foster parent or know someone who is, call us at (414) 453-1400 or e-mail me at Langston.Verdin@cssw.org.

–Langston Verdin, foster home recruiter, Children’s Service Society of Wisconsin